I'll do it tomorrow...

I am a classic procrastinator. For example, I've been thinking about writing this post for at least two weeks. It seems like there is never enough time in the day. The days go by and are full of diapers and meals and cleaning and before I know it, it's 11 pm and I'm just sitting down for the first time in hours. For the last few weeks there has been so much I wanted to add to this blog, but I can't ever find the time to do it. By the time I sit down at night I am exhausted and just think, "I'll do it tomorrow."

So now I need to catch everyone up on where I stand with juicing. I lasted about 3 days with the juice fast. Just as I had read about and just as I had prepared myself for, the initial body cleanse at the beginning of the fast was horrid. I was tired, irritable, spent most of the time in the bathroom and was just plain miserable. By Day 3 I was feeling better and down 5 lbs, but I was SO hungry. Taking care of 3 young children, the house, the meals, the laundry, it just all was too much with the juicing. Yes, this is a complete excuse, but I'm using it.

Instead of fasting I slowly began to integrate meals back into my daily intake. I've been careful about what I'm eating and when. I've been loving the Tofurkey sausages and brats, granola with almond milk and all sorts of healthy things. I've been trying to make choices that don't leave me ready to run to the gas station for a Snickers, but also fill me up and satisfy my taste buds. But I am still juicing, and I love it.

I'm starting to get a real knack for knowing what goes well with what. I love that I can put kale or spinach in pretty much every juice and its nearly undetected. I love that when my kids are sick (another reason it has been so long since my last post), I can make up a vitamin packed juice that I know has no unhealthy additives or sugar and they will chug it down when they won't eat or drink anything else. I love that when I'm in the mood for something other than water with my meal, I can take a few extra minutes and whip up a yummy drink and as I gulp it down I think of all of the wonderful things I'm putting into my body.

The past month has been a huge step in our journey to becoming healthier. Fruits and veggies now make up about 75% of what we eat and drink. Six months ago my 3 year old wouldn't go near a strawberry and maybe would be in the mood for a banana every now and then and her diet consisted of hot dogs and chicken nuggets. Now that same 3 year old ASKS for fruits. When offered a hot dog she will say she would rather have a banana. Instead of processed chicken nuggets that contain lord knows what, she is eating straight off the bone no skin chicken... and asks for seconds!

We have indeed made some major steps in improving our diets, but we are not quite finished yet. I do find myself incredibly cautious when grocery shopping. Now when I looked at the boxed and processed foods that used to fill my shopping cart, it makes me want to gag. Don't get me wrong, there are still the occasional quick and easy foods finding their way in my home, but not nearly as much as there used to be.

 I'm extremely satisfied with the changes we are making. In addition to the changes in our food intake, I have also started exercising regularly again. A few of my friends started an event on Facebook called "Couch to 5k." This is application that can be downloaded on a mobile device and you play it while on the treadmill or walking/running outside. It tells you when to walk and when to run and you can listen to music while doing so. The goal in this is to go from a "couch potato" to being able to run a 5k. I can say I would never HONESTLY do this the whole way through if I didn't have the support of my wonderful friends. Knowing that each of them is sticking to every second of the program keeps me going.

With all of these wonderful changes, I have still been finding myself teetering between 224 lbs and 221 lbs. It's frustrating because I am working so hard, but I know my body is changing. I have more energy. I am no longer taking my Prozac and I'm keeping positive (OK, so maybe 75% of the time that's true), my clothes are more loose,  I'm getting up earlier and I'm doing more with my kids and around the house. So I know the changes I'm making are having an impact on my body. I wish I had done actual measurements when I started, but I know the changes will become more obvious eventually.

That's it for now on this post. I'll try my best to keep this updated more often, and I appreciate all of the love and support everyone is giving! Now to post about the awesome dinner I made tonight...

Saving my own life

I have so many thoughts that I want to get out right now. There are so many things going through my head. I'll try my best to put them together for you in a way that makes at least a little bit of sense.

I am a 27 year old mother of 3 children. I weigh 226.4 pounds. Both grandparents on my mothers side are diabetic. I am also a smoker. I don't know much about my biological fathers side, but I do know that cancer runs common. Everything about my biological make up and my lifestyle are going against me right now. When I look in the mirror or at pictures of myself, I'm not quite sure who it is I see. It certainly isn't me.

A few weeks ago I watched a documentary called "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead." The film inspired me in a very profound way. I decided that I was going to start juicing to not only help me lose weight but also to put a boost into my journey of trying to be healthy. I set the date of April 8th as my start date because the weekend prior was a my "mommycation" when I drove almost 5 hours away and spent the weekend with some wonderful friends. I wanted to eat everything bad that I knew I would miss and have fun with my friends.

Monday, April 8th came and I still hadn't bought the ingredients I needed to start my juice fast. I started the day by drinking a fruit smoothie my husband made. I struggled with two of my kids over naps and by the time they had been fully rested and ready to go it was about 3pm. I was shaking from being so hungry and so I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then we headed out to Wegmans, the best grocery store around.

I ventured only into the produce section. I had the carseat with the baby in the cart and my two year old in the seat of the cart. I filled the cart completely, even on the bottom and it was all full of organic vegetables and fruit. When I unloaded everything onto the conveyor belt to check out, the entire thing was full. I felt so proud and excited for the journey up ahead.

Since I had started the day off by eating solid food, I decided I would take one more night to indulge in some of my favorite guilty pleasures. My husband brought home the most delightful chocolate peanut butter cups and I savored every single bite.

The next morning I woke up ready to start the juice fast. My husband made my first "meal" in our Ninja blender. The blender does not have a strainer and my Green Lemonade was so chunky and thick, I was pretty disappointed. My 3 year old daughter came home from her grandparents house and then my husband left for work. I struggled with an overstimulated 3 year old and a teething 2 year old and 6 month old. Needless to say I did not get to make another juice until my mom came over at 5 pm. By this time my patience was nonexistent, I was exhausted and just trying to do anything I could to get to bed time without exploding.

My mom was kind enough to let me have her juicer. She showed me how to use it and I made my second juice for the day. It was so much better without all of the pulp and grainy things in the juice... it was actually juice!! This held me over until about 9 pm when I was feeling so dizzy and light headed that I just had to have something in my stomach. With all three of my children asleep, juicing wasn't an option. I opted for a Healthy Choice steamer meal and felt so much better afterwards.

This brings us to today, Day 2 of my attempt to juice fast. I started the day by making my breakfast, mid-morning and lunch juices. Today is also my husbands day off so I have a little more help with the kids. The morning and afternoon were much easier to only drink juice. I was getting full from the juice and feeling satisfied. Then lunch time for my kids came and the smell of chicken drove me crazy. Again I found myself exhausted and going to the bathroom to pee every half an hour. By 2:30pm both of us were wearing thin and so we decided to get everyone out of the house.

We ventured our crew out to Walmart. We walked around every section of the store. I was doing great until we got to the food section. Just about every single isle was full of temptation just screaming for me to cave in and eat it. I was getting to the point of giving up. I was hungry. I was tired. If I could just indulge in some warm and flavorful pizza then my full belly would satisfy me enough to be a happy person again.

When we got home from the store my husband unloaded the car and the kids. I stayed sitting in the passenger seat of the car. A few minutes after everyone had gone into the house, my husband came out to the car to check on me. I told him I was wanting to give up. I told him I don't want to be fat anymore, but I can't do this. He gave me a kiss and let me just sit in the car for about another half an hour. In that half an hour I sat in silence. I thought about the many times I've tried to lose weight and how I always seem to lose a little bit and then give up and gain the weight back.

If I want to look in the mirror and see ME again, I can't give up. I also need to keep in mind that I need to pace myself and not push myself to a breaking point. I came inside and my husband was kind enough to steam some broccoli for me. So yes, I ate solid food... but it was vegetables, not pizza. I am proud of myself for overcoming that hurdle and I hope that each day my will becomes stronger. I want to be the mom who runs around with her children outside. I want to be around to be the grandmother who runs around with her grandchildren. I need to do this.

What happened to the flavor?

Yesterday was a bit crazy. I've been trying to start making dinner around 3 or 4 in the afternoon so that by the time my mom comes over at 5 and the girls are getting hungry, we can eat. Some days this works, some days it does not. Life at home with three kids ages 3, 2 and 6 months sometimes does not allow me to tend to anything but the kids. So when my mom arrived yesterday at 5pm, I started cooking dinner then. I had found a pin on Pinterest that included 75 very yummy looking healthy casseroles. I had decided to first test out the Mexican dish, except my mom and I are not too into the spicy things so when gathering the ingredients I purposely left out the hot stuff. 

For details and recipe view:

Pinterest Post 

or

Website Recipe

I was excited to try the vegan crumble. As I venture into the world of the healthy I have discovered that cooking vegan friendly meals is much healthier. I still love my meat and eggs, but I am slowly integrating the animal friendly recipes into our diets. 

 

I had so many questions and hesitations about the crumble, but my main concern was if the taste and texture would be too much of a change for my picky taste buds.

First I crumbled the tortilla chips in the dish and then added the crumble, onion and garlic mixture on top.

 Usually a Mexican dish that requires pinto beans calls for refried beans. I do have to say that even though I was in a rush to make the meal, I did enjoy squishing my own beans. And it is probably much healthier this way. I don't honestly know, I could be making that up.

I added the squished beans and tomatoes to the dish and then topped it off with the remaining chips and cheese. Apparently I forgot to add lime juice and cilantro to the grocery list. This was probably a big mistake in making this dish without those two ingredients AND leaving out the hot stuff.

 

The casserole went into the oven for 13 minutes and we were all eager to dive our forks into it as soon as it came out. 

 

I'm not exactly sure how to describe the end result. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. The chips had a stale texture after being baked and the overall taste of the casserole was very plain. I felt like it needed taco seasoning. Or salt. Or something. Evalyn of course devoured her plate and my mom and I both found ourselves going back for seconds, but I probably wouldn't make this again. It's my own fault as I have discovered now that I have not yet acquired the skills to start chopping up recipes and making them my own. Surprisingly the crumble really did not make a difference in taste and texture with the exception of not leaving a greasy and heavy feeling after being eaten. That I will consider to be a good thing and will be looking to find more recipes to use the crumble with.

 

Pizzzzaaaaaahhhhh

     When my husband and I worked together on the 1-10 shift, we would come home and every night we would devour a plethora of bad things. Pizza was one of our faves. We would come home after a morning spent of me getting sick (morning sickness) and trying to rangle our two-year old and one-year old together and an afternoon and evening working at an extremely stressful job and we would just binge. An entire pizza just for us. No sharing with kids, relieving our stress through the awesome taste of grease and all things fattening. I'm happy to report that in the last six months we have cut out our late night snack of all things unhealthy as we slowly progress on our journey to a healthier lifestyle. Today I took things a step further and thanks to the wonderful tool called Pinterest, I discovered the SPINACH PIZZA.

For details and recipe view:

Pinterest Post

or

Blogged Recipe

  

     First things first, I needed a helper. My sweet just turned two year old daughter Evalyn Rae was happy to fill the position.

 

      Next, the ingredients.

 

And then we began.

 

Evalyn was not very thrilled about using the blender at the beginning. My 5 month old didn't seem phased, but Evalyn clung to me for dear life. And then we were left with this not so appealing mixture...

 

which thankfully looked much more appetizing once it came out of the oven.

 

 (Side note- the recipe says to use parchment paper so that the crust does not stick to the pan. When I asked my husband where the parchment paper was, he told me to just use wax paper because, "it is basically the same thing." In his defense I didn't tell him what I needed the paper for. Lesson learned... wax paper does NOT go in the oven. My first attempt at the crust did not look like the above picture. Oops. Thank you to my mom for showing up with parchment paper which may be used in the oven!)

And now the toppings!

Sauce: grape tomatoes and garlic! How simple! And here is Evie after shoving 5 grape tomatoes in her mouth and giving me that classic look of, "what?"

 

One thing I have learned from my husband is when making pizza, it is always best to put toppings on right after the sauce and THEN sprinkle on the cheese. You can't see it, but the onions and Canadian bacon the recipe calls for is all under there.

I must say I was pretty nervous about this one. I don't ever use a blender. In fact I don't think I've taken the blender out since we moved into our house four years ago and bought it to make mixed drinks. I don't ever eat spinach. This is part of what I need to change in my lifestyle. The main reason for not eating it was fear of the unknown, but now I know it CAN be good!  My daughter and mom both agreed that this is definitely a new must have and I am so happy that this all came together and was HEALTHY!! No more box pizzas for us!

Introduction

    
       Hi! My name is Corinne and I am a 27 year old stay at home wife and mother of three children. I am starting this blog so that I can track and share my journey as I lose weight and integrate a healthier way of living into my everyday life. In the past five years I have gained weight, dieted, experienced pregnancy, gained weight, experienced pregnancy, dieted, experienced pregnancy again and then dieted. I have not seen a number below 200 when I step on the scale in almost exactly five years. At 5'4" and 27 years old this puts me over the obese line to the... dare I say it... morbidly obese range.

       I have tried Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, a special diet written by a body builder, the dreaded Lemonade diet and many other lose weight quick methods. All of these methods work in their own way and the most beneficial method I have found so far has been Weight Watchers. Everything these days is all about having your cake and eating it too, about being skinny and looking good but eating all of the things that are so bad for us. Most diets teach you that all you need is moderation. Eat half or even a quarter of the serving size you normally eat and you will lose weight. Well, duh. Eat six tiny meals a day of stuff that has absolutely no flavor but is strategically timed to what your body needs during the day and you will lose weight. Then you find yourself going stir crazy over the smell of peanut butter when making your kids a classic pb&j, and eventually you cave and binge.

      Instead of just focusing on losing weight quick or trying to lose weight while still eating all of the bad things, I've uncovered the answer to what I've been missing. I feel that it's as if I've uncovered the holy grail when really I've just opened my eyes to what was always in front of me. I need to stop concentrating on how to lose the next 5 pounds and start concentrating on how to be HEALTHY. To be healthy has so many different meanings to different people. We all want to be the "proper" weight, be able to run around with our children and live long lives, but how do we do that? I've struggled with this thought for the last five years and it has always seemed so overwhelming. Where to begin has always been the biggest question.

      Almost a year ago I was introduced to an amazing group of people. We call ourselves Beeps. If you don't know why, you don't need to know. The Beeps are the most incredible people I will ever know. In the last 10 months we have shared the deepest, darkest, funniest and brightest times together. Among the topics we discuss, we often speak about our daily meals and overall diets (as in the way we eat). My eyes were opened to a new world when vegetarians and vegans began to share information. It was suggested that I check out a documentary on Netflix called, "Fat, Sick Nearly Dead." I did just that and it is as if a light bulb went off in my head.

      And with that being said, I begin my journey to a healthier me. Little by little I'll share more about my past as I uncover my future. I'm really excited about this. Thanks for reading. :)